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1 YEAR LATER – VARNASI
In the Rigveda, the city is referred to as Kāśī or Kashi, the luminous city as an eminent seat of learning. In skanda purana Shiva says, "The three worlds form one city of mine, and Kāśī is my royal palace therein."
Banaras or Varanasi or Kashi is consider as one of the oldest cities in the world.
You can refer it as “the city of temples”, “the holy city of India”, “the religious capital of India”, “the city of lights”, “the city of learning” or the “culture capital of India”.
As Mark Twain rightly put it - Benares is older than history, older than tradition, older even than legend, and looks twice as old as all of them put together.
This city has given deliverance from pain and sin for many .I hope it delivers me for mine also
I came here to with family in GANGA as permy dadi wishes.I had come with nuts , Rishab ,ma and Dadi.. Nuts wants to get married to some boy called Karthik. She is just 21 , I think she is very young to take such decision in life now, but dadi and ma are okay about it they want to meet the family. I checked about Karthik is seems to be decent boy , well qualified and from a well to do family . They have their own family business of textile and jewellery retails shop across the country The Sharma’s which they have expanded all over India what started has A small retail shop in Gandhi Market in Mumbai 20 years ago is now 100 shops all over India. Karthik is now heading it’s the expansion . Karthik has two sister One Elder ,one younger , I have seen the younger sister, she is Natasha’s Friend in Fashion Designing course through whom Natasha meet Karthik.. but nothing is known about the elder sister
Natasha is unhappy with me, because I still was not ready to meet Karthik… But I wanted to meet him but thinking of Nuts marrying and leaving Kapoor Mansion makes me feel sad I will miss her , not that I am not aware of how much she love that boy but it just that thinking of nuts with man gives me weird feeling.. I know it can’t be postponed any more I need to meet the family.
I was sitting on the ghats Of theDashashwamedh Ghat is the most important and probably the oldest ghat of Varanasi. It is located on the banks of River Ganga and is very close to the Kashi Vishwanath Temple. Enjoying the Arthi . Ma joined me..
Ram , Kya Hai , pechele ek saal tum he dek rahi, Tume dehkar yeh mason ho raha hai ki tum kuch parehsan kar raha hai,, jaise tum ne kuch kya hai.
No ma , Nothing
No ram , I know Something is troubling you, Sometimes
I feel you are there with us physically , but mentally you are far away… I don’t know what is troubling you ,,, but I really want to help you beta .
No Ma it is nothing ,
I understand you don’t want to tell me but the point is that the I can’t see you like this , It hurts me to see you like this.
I think you should marry Ram, that is the only way I know to take away the loneliness and sadness that I see in your eyes
Ma , App bat kahan se kahan le ata hoo ma
What should I do leave my son like this, I can’t do this , I can’t see this pain your eyes . Ram tell if there is girl you like , I will go and talk to her parents
For minute ,Priya image came Into my mind, I immediately shook it out
No ma , there is nobody,I don’t want get married now, that all . Iam not lonely, I have my whole family with me why should I be a lonely
Okay .. I will take this answer at the face value but I am not convinced. Just One thing Ram “”times waits for no man , What Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courageto follow yourheart and intuition.”
This is not what I am saying but this what another great Businessman once said
I know ma “Steve Jobs” right
Right !, Just knowing is not enough Think about it
Yes ma , I will think about it , ma About Natasha, When should go and meet the karthik ‘family
Ram Karthik family has come down to Varanasi today , They are opening a Mall in Lucknow , before that they wanted take shivaji ka ashirwad . so We can meet them here it self if you okay about it
Oh I didn’t know that , okay we will meet them here then ma can you call let them know .
Okay Son
Ram Yes mom ,Think about what I said
After sometime I walked back to the hotel we were staying at . The Getway hotel…
As passed through the galis of varnasi , taking the flavours of the city one such gali was the Vishwanth lane the main bazar lane which leads to Kasi Vishwantha temple . There I saw small boy near a Bangle shop… playing with his car. He was so happy playing with the car, he was not bothered of what is happening around him he so engrossed in his toy .
I went near him asked him his name : He looked up at me said “ SHLOK” loudly..
I asked where his mother he said she was inside the shop. Proudly stated that this big shop of bangles was his mother’s . I asked what he was playing here he said car racing … He went ahead demonstrated what he was doing … In his enthusiasm he went ahead and knocked down somebody with his car .
As soon as he knew he hit somebody he ran inside his shop , saying sorry. I was left standing with a car on the pavement .
I looked up and saw who he had hit
I couldn’t believe my eyes It was Priya ,
She was standing right in front of me, nothing changed she looked just as beautiful.just as breath taking as ever.
My anger sizzled , dammit ! I had hundreds of question to ask where had she been after that day … I had searched whole Bangalore for her , she had disappeared into thin air . I tired searching her Mumbai address other than her surname I didn’t get any details.
I even tired reaching through Rajat Kapoor, I couldn’t get through to him also.. but finally found he had left Mumbai.
I lost all my hope .. I thought I had once again lost her
Before I could even ask A question She asked Ram can you take me somewhere I can be safe..
Please , she begged
What the hell? Then looked closely, there was a fear in her eyes, her had worn a churi that was as old as Varanasi, it was crushed , it had seen many washes. she just had one backpack up with her
Please ram can you do this for me
I knew something was definitely wrong , this was not time to ask question,,
Okay come , I called , pulled towards the main road. As we waving for a car .. car speeded across.. .. Priya pushed me away , from the speeding car , got almost knocked by it . For minute I thought she was knocked down , but she got up shakily ,called out to me asked I f was okay, When I said I was fine she fainted .
She was hurt ,,, I called out to the nearest taxi Asked him to proceed towards the The Gateway hotel
Oh god what happened, I could see no injury , but she still fainted. I took her to my room . I asked the Hotel concierge to call the doctor. The Doctor Came and checked on her told me she was fine there was no injury, she had just fainted out of exhaustion
He told me to look after her she just requires complete rest thats all she will be fine
I looked at her , now carefully there where shadows under her eyes, she had gone very thin there was hue of paleness in her skin tone. Something was definitely gone wrong somewhere
All could do was sit near her bed side watch her asleep
She suddenly got up As soon as she saw me She panicked .
“ I need to go ,” she whispered, “please.”
No you are not going anywhere you are not well priya I pressed her back on the bed Tell me what happening priya
“I can’t,” she cried out, and then she did shake me off, stepping back until they were once again separated by the chill air of the night “I can’t tell you what you want to hear. I can’t be with you, and I can’t even see you again. Do you understand?” I did not answer. Because I did understand what she was saying. But I did not agree with it.
She swallowed and her hands came to cover her face, rubbing and stretching across her skin with such anguish that I almost reached out to stop her. “I can’t be with you,” she said, the words coming out with such suddenness and force that I wondered just whom she was trying to convince. “I am not . . . the person . . .” She looked away.
“I am not a suitable woman for you,” she said to the window. “I am not of your status, and I am not—” I waited. She’d almost said something else. I was sure of it.
She looked me in the eye and I nearly flinched at the emptiness I saw in her face.
“Priya,” , “I will protect you.”
“I don’t want your protection,” she cried. “Don’t you understand? I have learned how to care for myself, to keep myself—” She stopped, then finished with: “I can’t be responsible for you, too.”
“You don’t have to be,” I answered, trying to make sense of her words.
She turned away. “You don’t understand.”
“No,” I said harshly. “No, I don’t.” How could I ? She kept secrets, held them to her chest like tiny treasures, leaving me to beg for her memories like some damned dog.
“Ram,” she said softly, and there it was again. My name, and it was like I’d never heard it before. Because when she spoke, I felt every sound like a caress. Every syllable landed on my skin like a kiss.
“Priya,” I said, and I didn’t even recognize my own voice. It was rough, and hoarse with need, and laced with desire, and . . . and . . .
And then, before I had a clue what I was about, I pulled her roughly into my arms and was kissing her like she was water, air, my very salvation. I needed her with a desperation that would have shaken me to my core .
But I wasn’t thinking. Not right now. I was tired of thinking, tired of worrying. I wanted just to feel. I wanted to let passion rule my senses, and my senses rule my body.
I wanted her to want me the very same way.
With a guttural moan, I half-lifted, half-turned her until we went tumbling to the bed, and finally I had her exactly where I’d wanted her for what felt like a lifetime. Under me, her legs softly cradling me
“I want you,” I said, even though it could hardly have been in doubt. “I want you now, in every way a man can want a woman.” My words were coarse, but I liked them that way. This wasn’t romance, this was pure need. I don’t know what will happen whether I will see again or not And if that happened, if the end came and I hadn’t tasted paradise first . . .
I nearly ripped her churi from her body.
And then . . . I stopped.
My stopped to breathe, to simply look at her and revel in the glorious perfection of her body. “You are so beautiful,” I whispered. She must have heard those words before, thousands of times, but I wanted her to hear them from me. “You are so . . .” But I didn’t finish, because she was so much more than her beauty. And there was no way I could say it all, no way I could put into words all the reasons my breath quickened every time I saw her.
she blushed, reminding me that this must be new to her. It was new to me, too. but this was the first time . . . she was the first one . . .It had never been like this. I don’t know how I know I just knew couldn’t explain the difference, but it will been like this.
“Kiss me,” she whispered, “please.”
I did,
It went beyond desire. It went beyond need. It was primal, an urge that rose from deep within me, as if to say that my very life depended on making love to this woman. If that was mad, then I was mad.say that his very life depended on making love to this woman. If that was mad, then I was mad.For her.
I was mad for her, and I had a feeling it was never going to go away.
“Priya,” I moaned, pausing for a moment to try to gain my breath. My face rested lightly on the tender skin of her chest and I inhaled the scent of her even as I fought for control of my body. “Priya, I need you.” I looked up. “Now. Do you understand?”
“No.”
My hands stilled. No, she didn’t understand? No, not now? Or no, not—
“I can’t,” she whispered, and she tugged at the sheet in a desperate attempt to cover herself.
Dear God, not that no.
“I’m sorry,” she said with an agonized gasp. “I’m so sorry. Oh, my God, I’m so sorry.” With frenetic motions she lurched from the bed, trying to pull the sheet along with her. But I was still pinning it down, and she stumbled, then found herself jerked backward toward the bed. still, she held on, tugging and puling and over and over again saying, “I’m sorry.”
I just tried to breathe, great big gulps of air that I prayed could control my body I was so far gone I couldn’t even think straight, let alone put together a sentence.
“I shouldn’t have,” she said, still trying to cover herself with the damned bedsheet. She couldn’t get away from the side of the bed, not if she wanted to keep herself covered. I could reach out for her; my arms were long enough. I could wrap my hands around her shoulders and pull her back, into my arms..
And yet I didn’t move. I was a bloody stupid statue, up there on the four-poster bed, on my knees
“I’m sorry,” she said again, for what had to be the fiftieth time. “I’m sorry, I just . . . I can’t. It’s the only thing I have. Do you understand? It’s the only thing I have.”
Her virginity.
I hadn’t even given it a thought. What kind of man was I? “I’m sorry,” I said, and then I almost laughed at the absurdity of it. It was all apologies, uncomfortable and utterly ackward.
“No, no,” she returned, her head still shaking back and forth, “I shouldn’t have. I shouldn’t have let you, and I shouldn’t have let myself. I know better. I know better.”
So did I
With a muttered curse I got down from the bed, trying to reach , she scurried away from me to the corner of the room she was scared of me !!!
.
“I’m sorry,” she said again.
“Stop saying that,” I practically begged her. My voice was laced with exasperation—no, make that desperation—and she must have heard it, too, for she clamped her mouth shut, swallowing nervously as she watched me
“I have to leave Varanasi , ,” she said,
“We will discuss this later,” I said firmly. I had no idea what iam saying, but we would talk about it. Just not right now, with the entire hotel waking up around me.
The entire hotel . Good God, I really had lost my head . The room, on the same hall as the rest of the family. . My mother could have seen us Or worse, one of my siblings.still don’t have any answers to tell them anything
Priya nodded again, but she was quietly looking at me . Priya go to sleep now I will not touch you again don’t look so scared I promise I will not touch you Just trust me okay . She nodded her head again but still there was fear in her eyes.. I will sleep on the couch there when you awake up we will talk
When I got up next day morning the room was empty… she was gone.. It was as if she was just figment of my imagination. I checked with hotel reception all that they knew is that she left the hotel early in the morning
Rest of the day passed out. I was a zombie.. I couldnt do anything what was it with priya and me every time we meet, it almost like a dream. I am never able to hold on to her
In the evening We went to meet Karthik and family , They were overjoyed that we had come to with Natasha’s rishta to them. Everybody talked’, and were very happy … my contribution to the whole event was almost in monosyllable. My mind was still preoccupied with priya .Karthik’s ‘father looked familiar..I have seen somewhere don’t know where
I need to find her she was scared and hurt . I knew that about what I didn’t know is why
Then Karthik father came and introduce himself to me He said My Name is Sudhir sharma
The moment He said his name something flashed my memory priya father name was also sudhir sharma. No wonder I have seen him somewhere he was the same man years ago standing with Priya in Mumbai
I asked Mr Sudhir sharma . do you know Priya Sharma
He was surprised “Yes she is my eldest daughter” but We have lost contact with her after she went with Rajat kapoor, 1year a ago
What are you saying “she with Rajat Kapoor” no this is not possible
I knew something is definitely wrong here .Priya is in some kind of trouble and it is connected to Rajat Kapoor
Author
Priya RamKumar
1 comment:
Very nice
pls update soon
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