OS- Jealousy Love

RAM's JEALOUSY POV

Some say jealousy is the ugliest trait, but I beg to differ. Jealousy is the characteristic and feeling that someone gets to prove how much they really care. You want that person’s attention — you want them to understand that you do care and you do get upset when they don’t notice how much it hurts to be second in line.

     I didn’t want to be second in line. I didn’t want to, I didn’t like it, and I never imagined myself being anything but first. Perhaps I was selfish, but all I wanted was the attention and affection brought upon myself — not any other man or any other woman — and only myself. I felt deserted, like I was abandoned on the side of the road. It hurt more than anything, to stand there with gritted teeth and narrowed eyes with my hands dug deep into my pockets some time i scracth my temple  as I watched her fawn over her ‘crush’. It hurt more than anything that she didn’t notice how on edge and nervous I was, nervous over the fact that he could have something that I didn’t have. What didn’t I have that made her happy? Why wouldn’t she get excited over me? 

     My teeth ground into each other once more, the top set making a sharp noise that made my eyes wince. My hands slowly flexed themselves out, silently begging and pleading with me to touch her waist, her skin, her body, to prove that she was mine and that no other man could have her. 

     That’s what jealousy did to you. In an instance, you found yourself growing possessive, protective. Your mouth twitched in an uncomfortable way, nearly growing into a threatening sneer, snarl. Your throat grew thick with saliva, your voice sputtering, stammering. You wanted to punch something or throw the biggest tantrum while seeing red, rage. All you wanted to do was be the only one they ever saw, focusing on you, your love, your affection, everything you ever did for them. You don’t want anyone in your way. You want to be the one and only; the only one and only to ever be in their lifetime, because that’s what they are to you. 

     My gut instinct was screaming at me, it’s fury loud. It told me to go over there, place my hands on her waist and give that man a sickeningly sweet smile that instantly gave away my warning of ‘back off’. 

     This wasn’t an ugly trait, no — this was the only trait that I had when it came to keeping my girl with me. Safe, protected, mine. Safe, protected, mine. It was the only thing I had any clue in what scenario to go with. Jealousy came with the quiet option — where you could just sit back and close your eyes, your anger silent. Jealousy also came with the bold option — where you could walk right up to them and show off the love you felt. 

     I wanted to be bold, in control. 

     And that seemed to be the only thing I could do. I wasn’t a violent person, much less of a person to threaten someone. Yet, the only thing I felt confident enough to do was hug her… touch her, kiss her, show her off because that’s what I could do best in a situation like this. I wouldn’t allow myself to watch from afar, my lips slapped together in a way to silence my anger. 

     And my feet; my feet carried me to the one person I wanted to have as my one and only. My hands removed themselves from my pockets, their fingers sprawling out as I came up from behind her and gave her waist an easy squeeze, my lips finding her cheek instantly. 

     “Helloo,” I murmured into her ear softly, my hands sliding around her waist to pull her back into my chest. My eyes raised to the person in front of her, his mouth now in a hard line as he stared at me with anything but politeness. 

     “Aapki Tarrif Mr.. .” His voice was chirpy, softer and a bit more even than mine. His voice wasn’t deep and he didn’t have that masculine look to him. 

JITNI karo unti Kam hai i said to him...

Kya ??? He said again...

Tarrif i replied in calm voice.....

When you’re jealous, you start comparing yourself to the other person, your judgment seeming to be right on point (well, for that moment in time, things do change). You picked out your competition’s flaws, making yourself look and feel better with every judgment you surpassed. You wanted to be the bigger person… the one that had gotten more attention, the one that could easily take care of anyone they wanted to. I wanted to be the bigger person — not in a sense of the more mature one, but in a sense where I could be intimidating.....

Ohh he laugh.....

Hi I m Ram..Ram kapoor Naam to suna hi hoga....

Through long lashes, Priya looked up at me, her light brown eyes instantly stern. She knew I could get like this at times, a bit jealous and insecure. Though, it wasn’t anything I could help! How was I supposed to function without the inability to touch her when I wanted to, kiss her when I craved her lips, and love her like I mean it — without anyone in the way of me doing those things? 

     My smile was apologetic, my eyes hard as I stared back at her, my hands rubbing soothing circles into her hips. I pleaded silently with myself that she wasn’t angry with me. I hoped that I did the right thing, to interfere before I got even more jealous, to the point where my hands angrily clenched and unclenched at my sides, really to hit the first thing that got in my view.

     “We really do have to go ,” I said then, my eyes glancing away from Priya’s before reaching my hand out to shake his, that bastard, staring at me like I had interrupted his feasting. 

     His handshake was hard and strong, his muscles flexing as we shook once. When I dropped my hand from his, his eyes immediately went back down to my Wife, his insanely white, fake-looking teeth grinning ear-from-ear at her. 

     He murmured, “It was nice meeting you.” 

     My eyes wanted to roll back so badly, an irritated gesture that both of them would undoubtedly see. 

     I forced a smile and waited for Priya’s reply before I steered her out of the room, my hands pushing against the small of her back before we were in a private room, far enough away from the scene going on inside the posh restaurant. 

     Priya’s hands were already on my chest, her eyes angry and flashing red as she shoved on my sternum once. “What was that for? Ram, could you be any more ru - “ 

     My lips cut her off, warm and sweet tasting flavors hitting my taste buds right below my tongue. A sigh brushed against my cheek

     “Mine,” I muttered in somewhat of a growl against her lips, my hands gripping softly at her hips, “Priya, you’re mine.” 

     Priya kissed me again, her lips urgent as she smoothed the lapels of my jacket out, soothing me. “I know, I know. I’m yours, Ram.” 

     Sliding my arms around her waist and hoisting her chest against me, I smiled gently down at her,     “I know you are, my gudiya. No one will ever take you away from me. I won’t allow it.” 

     The jealousy was strong, still aching slightly in my chest. Though, I knew that it was nothing other than an indication of my love for her. How much I needed her, how much I admired her, how much I loved her and how happy and lucky she has made me.

She changed Ram Kapoor........

END